He-Man VS Segata Sanshiro
He-Man VS Segata Sanshiro is a What-If? episode of Death Battle. It features the return of He-Man from the Masters of the Universe series and the return of Segata Sanshiro from SEGA. Description East meets West! 80's meets 90's! Two valiant defenders who have achieved impossible odds go toe-to-toe! Which of these two monstrous fighters will survive? Interlude Wiz: We as humans can only achieve so much, even at the peak of human capability. These men, however, have gone above and beyond our own limits, capable of performing feats way beyond our own capability. Today, these two warriors settle it in a battle of 80's versus 90's, and East meets West. Boomstick: He-Man, Champion of Eternia! Wiz: And Segata Sanshiro, defender of the Sega Saturn. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle. He-Man Wiz: As the son of King Grayskull and a descendant of the royal family of Eternia, Prince Adam is actually not the buff, powerful and heroic man we know, and was more akin to your clumsy Everyman type of person. Prince Adam crashes into a lamp, falling over. Boomstick: Ha ha ha... ah, that shit never gets old... Wiz: But one day, Adam was bestowed the secret ancient powers of Castle Grayskull by a bird-clad sorceress, allowing him to transform into He-Man, the master of the universe. Boomstick: And how did he get through to such power, exactly? Wiz: Well, he puts it best himself. Prince Adam: Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said... "By the power of Grayskull..." Prince Adam transforms into He-Man. (*He-Man!*) He-Man: "...I HAVE THE POWER!" Boomstick: Are you fucking serious? You mean to tell me that he spent his days just lobbing his sword up and down somewhere while spurting some gibberish until one day it just worked? Wiz: ...Essentially, yes. Boomstick: So you think one day it worked and he was like "I KNEW it would work someday!"? Wiz: It's not Prince Adam who holds all the ridiculous abilities, as that is where the form of He-Man comes in. With his herculean strength, speed and durability, he is one of many warriors that battles against the evil Skeletor and his cronies. Boomstick: Not to mention he has a ton of acrobatic skills as well as a super breath which can blow any sorry sucker unfortunate enough to get caught in the blast away! Wiz: But nothing in He-Man's arsenal of physics-defying arsenal is more iconic than the Power Sword. Boomstick: Like any good sword, it is indestructible, can deflect lasers and have other special properties! He-Man is capable of throwing it like a friggin' boomerang and it can even perform kinky bondage with... light beam.... stuff. Wiz: But this isn't the only tool he keeps on hand. He also wields a grappling hook and a bolas, as well as a shield. Boomstick: Why would THIS guy need a shield, exactly? Especially since he's super tough and has a battle harness made of Korodite, which multiplies his already ludicrous strength by ten! He-Man: That's what the sorceress fashioned this harness from. It helps add to my power. Wiz: He-Man has not had to venture out completely on his own, however. He has an adopted cat called Cringer, whom of which he saved from the jungle at a young age. Cringer's pretty cowardly and reluctant, but when He-Man transforms, more often than not Cringer will also receive a transformation. A transformation into the ferocious beast known as Battle Cat. Boomstick: Now THAT is a beast I'd ride into battle and slay my enemies with! It also helps that Battle Cat has super strength and speed of his own as well as being able to roar EARTHQUAKES! Battle Cat roars. Wiz: In fact, Battle Cat is so vicious, it's implied that if he doesn't transform back down into Cringer, he could go on an unstoppable rampage, since he is a cross-breed; half-tiger, half-dragon. Boomstick: I still want this damn kitty, Wizard! Wiz: Never gonna happen. Boomstick: One day... Wiz: Being super-powerful, it's no surprise that He-Man's accomplishments match the expectations. He has moved mountains, lifted the entire city of Arcadia, swung his sword around at such speeds that it reversed a tornado-- Boomstick: Uh...? Wiz: --And has even ran fast enough to create a vacuum. Boomstick: UH?? Wiz: He's even capable of shattering Photanium, the strongest metal in his universe, when even his closest friends and acquaintances believed that it would be too much for him. Whether or not it's that one fictional metal stronger and lighter than titanium, no-one knows. Boomstick: He's pushed a moon - twice - has dug to the centre of the planet with nothing but a broken stalactite, and if all of THAT shit wasn't enough for you, he's even traded blows with and held his own against Superman! You know, that one superhero that can move and destroy entire planets, may have killed a favourite of yours twice as well as a massively powerful demigod? That guy. And by the way - that isn't the Post Crisis incarnation, either. Wiz: Admittedly, he's not THAT strong, but He-Man is still massively strong in his own right. However, he isn't invincible. Enough raw force can turn him back into the more vulnerable Prince Adam. He also despises violence, preferring to outsmart opponents instead. Boomstick: For a guy who despises violence, he really does know how to beat the shit out of people... but that should be sufficient proof that you don't fuck around with this almighty warrior! He-Man fixes a broken chain. It's more ludicrous than it sounds. He-Man: There you go, fella. Good as new. Boomstick: ...I'll still never understand that. Scorpia: I'll stop ya, muscle man! He-Man grabs Scorpia's pincer arms. He-Man: That's not very lady-like. Then again, you're not much of a lady, are you? (*He-Man!*) Segata Sanshiro Wiz: Japan is home to many legends of terrifying creatures and people in its folklore. Such as Raiden, the god of thunder, who devours the stomachs of children as they sleep. Then there are Kappas, monsters that dwell in lakes and drowns their victims, as well as ripping out their souls in a way I don't really want to repeat. Boomstick: Besides, poor ol' Conagher knows that too well. But there is one legend of a man who dedicates his life to punishing those who are fulfilling the sinful criteria... of not playing a SEGA Saturn. Wiz: The year was 1997. Nintendo were dominating the sales market thanks to the success of the Nintendo 64. SEGA, on the other hand, were struggling pretty badly. Their console, the SEGA Saturn, was failing in comparison. Things seemed to look hopeless for this video game titan. Boomstick: But then, as if answering a call to the heavens, a martial arts master appeared to deliver a brutal no-holds-barred beatdown to anyone not playing SEGA's console. His name? Segata Sanshiro. Segata's theme begins to play as he judo throws a man, who screams. Boomstick: No matter the time... The man hits the ground, causing an explosion. Wiz: The place... Woman: Segata Sanshiro... Boomstick: Or even the gender or age of the recipient... Child (while crying): Segata Sanshiro! Wiz: It's clear that Segata Sanshiro leaves no stone unturned in his pursuit towards his goal. Boomstick: Despite his legendary status among his people, not much is known about Segata. However, what we do know is that when he first appeared, he held aloft on his back a giant SEGA Saturn which he uses in order to boost his fighting and gaming prowess at the same time. Wiz: And he... seems to be dating Sakura from Sakura Wars. Boomstick: You heard that right - Segata gets to date a video game character! And yet here are people with their own waifus unable to achieve the same things... (suddenly downtrodden) oh... Wiz: Regardless, that's only scratching the surface of what Segata is capable of. He's been able to score a homerun in baseball by kicking the ball out of the park, is able to achieve speeds of up to 60mph on ice barefoot - even beating an Olympic speed skater in a race, and has had multiple baseballs thrown at his chest at 90mph on average per ball without even flinching. Boomstick: He's capable of duplicating himself way more times than anyone can count and resizing himself to bigger proportions, but his favourite technique comes in the form of his judo throw - a move so powerful it makes the recipient explode... TWICE. Wiz: Within a matter of years, Segata had managed to terrorise his entire home into loving SEGA's console. Saturn sales skyrocketed - as did the hospitalisation of the Japanese populace - even beyond that of the Nintendo 64. Which seemed to prompt Nintendo to fire a missile at SEGA Headquarters in a bid to end the competition. Boomstick: Rivalries are fierce... but then Segata decided to spring into action, LEAPING OFF OF THE BUILDING AND STOPPING THE MISSILE AGAINST A GLASS WALL! And if that wasn't enough, he then flipped it around with his might and rode it into space! Wiz: Considering that this size of missile would be moving at speeds of 3,600 miles per hour, the glass window should not have been able to withstand the force of Segata and the missile coming into contact with it. To stop it without cracking the glass means that Segata somehow made the missile weigh less than it should when he held it. The only possible explanation for this is that Segata himself is exempt from the laws of physics, allowing him to achieve things a human cannot possibly achieve, such as breathing in the vacuum of space... right up until the missile he was riding on exploded. The nuclear missile explodes. Narrator: Segata Sanshiro wa kimitachi no koronou. Boomstick: And that explosive finisher was the end of Segata's legacy. The Death Battle transition appears. Boomstick: ...Or was it? The Death Battle transition disappears again. Wiz: Though the announcer states that Segata will always live on in our hearts, there have been a lot of pieces of evidence indicating that Segata wasn't quite as dead as people were led to believe. Boomstick: One year after his supposed death, in Rent-A-Hero #1 a familiar martial arts master trained the main character while claiming to have been a great hero in his past! And then in 2012, in the Race of AGES of Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed, in the final lap it's clear that there's a man with a giant SEGA Saturn on his back steering a missile away from the race course. Seem familiar yet? Wiz: And that's not all. In 2013, Segata Sanshiro himself crashed a SEGA Sound Unit concert and performed his theme live. Though video footage was destroyed, there's pretty high-quality images available. And as of the 2015 Archie continuity, a familiar martial artist fought Sonic the Hedgehog himself in a tournament on Mobius, supposedly 3,000 years into the future from our own Earth. Boomstick: Segata's not only alive... but he may just be immortal! Wiz: While death itself has not been able to successfully claim Segata as of yet, it seems Segata's abilities have difficulty with the deaths of others, specifically, the undead. And though he revived the Saturn, he could not keep SEGA on top forever and seemingly disappeared, perhaps waiting for the right moment to step back out and save SEGA from disaster. Boomstick: Then he should probably get on it soon, what with what SEGA's having to deal with. Wiz: Even in the jaws of death, it's clear Segata's parting words must be obeyed... or else severe consequences will arrive. Segata Sanshiro: Sega satan shiro! (You must play Sega Saturn!) DEATH BATTLE! AgentHoxton Eternia It was a standard day on Eternia, with the market town bustling with people. It would have been any ordinary day, but as it turned out, the peace was about to be broken. A foot stomped the ground nearby, causing the townspeople to look on. Clad in a white martial arts uniform and bearing a giant SEGA Saturn, it was clear that the town had been visited by none other than Segata Sanshiro. He looked at the townspeople. And it was clear he wasn't happy. Within moments, Segata let out a yell and ran at the townspeople. His theme song began to play as he beat the everliving crap out of the townspeople. They weren't playing the SEGA Saturn, after all! The fiends! From behind a post, Orko looked on in terror as Segata continued his rampage. "Oh, no!" He exclaimed. "This is terrible! He's hurting everyone! I have to alert He-Man!" It was at that point that Orko looked back - and Segata immediately spotted Orko. Orko let out a yelp of fright and ran off, with Segata growling as he ran in hot pursuit. ---- Somewhere else "Okay, Cringer. Let's try this again. This time... no whining, okay?" Prince Adam motioned to Cringer, whom of which was cowering behind a bush. "Oh no... n-not this again...!" Cringer groaned. He knew exactly what was going to come. And he hated it. All the while, Prince Adam drew the Power Sword and raised it into the air. "By the power of Grayskull..." Adam began, and a lightning bolt shot out from the sky and onto the Power Sword. And in a flash, Prince Adam had transformed into the almighty He-Man. (*He-Man!*) "I HAVE THE POWEEER!" He finished, holding the sword lengthways in both hands as he usually would. He then turned to the bush and pointed the Power Sword at Cringer, zapping him with the same bolt and beginning his own transformation. "It buuuuuurns...!!" Cringer whined. But within moments, the bush had been destroyed, and Battle Cat replaced Cringer. Battle Cat let out his roar. Just before He-Man could begin anything, Orko arrived, gasping for breath. He-Man turned to him. "H-He-Man!" Orko panted. "Steady on, Orko." He-Man told him. "What is it?" "There's this... warrior... going around and beating everyone... up... you've got to stop hi--" Orko began to explain, but then was interrupted as Segata emerged from behind a tower of rocks and punched Orko into the ground, critically injuring him. With Orko dealt with, Segata turned his attention to He-Man, whom of which stares blankly at the SEGA Saturn warrior. "And just who are you supposed to be?" He-Man asked him. Segata didn't answer, instead drawing the giant SEGA Saturn off of his back. "Sega satan shiro!" Segata yelled at him before lobbing the giant console at He-Man. Everything goes slow-motion before He-Man draws the Power Sword, leaning back before delivering an almighty swing that cut the SEGA Saturn in half. "You won't get me to play along like that. Show him some manners, Battle Cat!" He-Man commanded, pointing at Segata. Battle Cat roared and leapt at Segata, whom of which began to tussle with the powerful feline. Suddenly Segata grappled Battle Cat and performed his judo throw, lobbing Battle Cat into the mountains. An explosion occurred... and then another one. Segata turned back to He-Man. "You've made your point." He-Man mused, getting into a battle stance with the Power Sword as Segata took up a fighting stance of his own. "Looks like it's just you and me, strange man." FIGHT! Segata charged at He-Man and tried to punch him, but He-Man easily blocks with the Power Sword. Punches and sword swings are clashed before He-Man leaps back and picks up a moderately sized boulder, lobbing it at Segata. Segata leaps up at the boulder and punches it, shattering it into fragments, before leaping at He-Man again. This time, He-Man punches Segata away before the two lock hands in a power struggle. He-Man throws Segata off the side of the cliff they were stood on and leaped down after him. Segata lands in a heap on the ground, but gets up in time to avoid a downward punch from He-Man, which gives an earth-shaking punch. Segata makes a mad dash at He-Man again, but He-Man brings out his bolas, whirling it around before lobbing it at Segata's ankles. Segata is stopped momentarily, but easily snaps the bolas with his legs. In this moment, however, He-Man lands a direct punch on Segata, launching him into a pile of rocks. The rocks fall on top of Segata, covering him. He-Man looks on, satisfied. "Well, that should do it." He-Man mused, walking away. However, the rocks rumbled and Segata leaped out and grabbed He-Man, and performed his judo throw, this time lobbing him in the direction of Snake Mountain. He-Man flew through the air, before turning around just before slamming into Snake Mountain, causing an explosion. However, after a few seconds, a second explosion occurred, completely decimating Snake Mountain. Segata watched the ruin of Snake Mountain before walking away, feeling as if he had done his duty. But it wasn't quite over, as He-Man ran at super speed away from the ruins before running by Segata, punching him in the back of the head. (*He-Man!*) He-Man stares Segata down, and vice versa. Suddenly, before He-Man realises it, a whole group of Segata clones were surrounding him. It would have been pretty difficult to tell which was the real deal if it weren't for the real Segata standing a little distance away from his clones. "I've heard of identical twins, but this is a little bit ridiculous..." He-Man mused. Suddenly, Segata struck a pose, and they all followed suit. Suddenly, He-Man was grabbed by one of the clones, and was kneed in the back. Another clone ran up and punched the Eternian warrior in the face, causing him to stumble back. Another ran up and kicked He-Man into the air, before kneeling down, providing himself as a ramp for two other Segata clones to jump off. One clone grabbed the other and judo tossed him at He-Man, leaving the clone to deliver a kick to He-Man that launched him at another mountain, decimating the top half. However, He-Man wasn't done at all, leaping out of the rubble. "A whirlwind ought to blow those phonies away!" He-Man commented, before running rapidly in circles around the mass of clones. Eventually, a whirlwind kicked up, launching the clones up and around in the air, as well as some nearby debris. All of the small Segata clones get blown away, but then a giant Segata steps out from the dust and lets out an angry roar. He attempts to punch He-Man, but He-Man swipes the Power Sword at the fist, knocking it away. The two exchange blows before He-Man runs between the giant Segata's legs, grabbing one of them and performing a suplex on the giant Saturn warrior, creating a massive crater in the ground. The dust parts to reveal Segata at normal height, staring the Eternian champion down once again. Segata ran forward and attempted a kick which He-Man avoided. He-Man punched Segata into another mountain, but Segata immediately got back out and punched He-Man into the distance. This time, He-Man didn't come back, and a mountain slowly began to rise out of the ground. Segata looked on in shock and horror as He-Man is shown under the mountain, lifting it gradually off of the ground, before throwing it high into the sky. He-Man is then shown above the thrown mountain and punches it at the ground. Segata looks on and leaps up into the air before the mountain could collide with him. He then meets He-Man mid air just before the mountain collides with the ground and judo tosses him towards the moon. ---- Outer space From space, a huge explosion was visible on the surface of the planet as the mountain hit the surface with such tremendous force. He-Man is then seen flying towards the moon, colliding against it with an explosion. A second explosion followed soon afterwards, destroying part of the moon. He-Man is seen lying on the surface, before getting back onto his feet. Segata then lands with tremendous force on the moon, a sheer look of determination in his eyes as he races at He-Man once again. The two lock hands before Segata punches He-Man in the gut and knocks him to the floor. He prepares another punch, but He-Man rolls out of the way and throws his Power Sword at him. Segata ducks under the blade and trades more blows with the champion of Eternia, but then the Power Sword came back, slicing him in the shoulder. He-Man grabbed the Power Sword and yanked it out of Segata's shoulder, before pointing the blade at him. Before long, Segata was wrapped completely in a strange beam-like rope. But naturally, it didn't last as Segata broke free with his might. Seriously, it's Segata Sanshiro, what did you expect? Segata ran at He-Man once more, throwing He-Man back to the ground. This time, however, he grabs He-Man's Power Sword and attempts to use it against him, but He-Man grabs both sides of the blade and yanks it out of the Saturn defender's hands. The blade drops back towards the devastated planet as He-Man and Segata struggle against each other once again. This time, Segata throws He-Man over his shoulder, sending him careening towards the planet. He-Man is able to stop himself mid-fall, but Segata is shown to have a plan, running towards a side of the moon. He then lightly jumps off so that he was facing the surface, before preparing an almighty punch. "SEGA SATAN SHIRO!" Segata barked as he punched the moon towards He-Man, sending it towards Eternia. He-Man looked up in horror before realising he had to stop the moon. He-Man pushed his arms out and braced for impact, and sure enough, He-Man was sent along with the moon. He-Man attempted to push against the falling moon, but no success seemed to be evident. Things looked bleak for He-Man and Eternia... ...but then He-Man remembered the connection to the secrets of Castle Grayskull. "Grayskull!" He-Man called in his thoughts. "Give me the strength of the castle's secrets!" Sure enough, the secret powers of Castle Grayskull began to empower He-Man, and He-Man was able to stop the moon and pushed it back towards Segata. But he wasn't done there, as he pushed himself towards the moon's surface and, with all of his might, punched the moon at incredible speed back towards Segata. (*He-Man!*) Segata looked in horror as the moon hurtled back towards him, smashing him headlong as it carried on its journey. Segata looked around as the moon hurtled through space, until he saw something up ahead that indicated where he was going to end up. The sun. Segata let out a yell as the moon approached the surface. On the surface of the sun, there was a massive explosion... followed by a second one. And that was Segata Sanshiro's end. For the time being, at least. (*He-Man!*) ---- Eternia Back on Eternia's ruined surface, the Power Sword was seen lying on the ground. Suddenly, He-Man landed with an earth-shaking force. He then walked over to the Power Sword and picked it back up, sheathing it. "Well... that was that taken care of." He-Man stated. He looked around the ruins of Eternia. Things sure had changed, hadn't they? K.O! Meanwhile, Skeletor is returning up the path towards Snake Mountain when he sees it in ruins. "M-my castle!" Skeletor cried out in half-fear and half-anger. "Who did this??" It was at this point that an angel boy devastated by the chaos that had ensued pointed his sword at the back of Skeletor's head. "I think it's best for you to surrender, Skeletor." He told him. Results Boomstick: A legendary man has fallen today... Wiz: Segata is an almighty warrior, certainly capable of giving He-Man a tough time with his own abilities. But He-Man's physical abilities are far above what Segata is capable of. Boomstick: I hate to admit it, but He-Man can take and dish out way more punishment than Segata. Wiz: Though Segata has more combat experience and is easily the more ruthless, He-Man is smarter, being able to come up with strategies to wittle down Segata while Segata's one-track mindedness failed him. Boomstick: You may be wondering "But Segata defies physics every day!" But... here's the thing... so does He-Man. Quite a lot more than you think, actually. Wiz: Considering that He-Man is 10 quadrillion times stronger than the strongest on Earth even without taking the Korodite battle harness into account, and that He-Man has gone toe to toe and even held his own against Superman, it's safe to say that while Segata achieves reality-defying feats, so does He-Man. It's... kind of what he's all about. In the end, Segata didn't really have any way to put He-Man down for good. The only hope Segata would have is to force He-Man back into Prince Adam. A process which is a lot harder than it sounds. Boomstick: Not even Lion-O, the Eye of Thundera or Superman before Post-Crisis could do it when He-Man fought them, leaving Segata's chances of doing so pretty slim. Wiz: It was definitely a close battle, but He-Man's superior strength and skills won the day. Boomstick: But hey... at least Segata has nothing but sunshine now. Wiz: The winner is He-Man. (*He-Man!*) Who would you be rooting for? He-Man Segata Sanshiro Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Death Battles with a returning combatant Category:'Returning Character' themed Death Battles Category:AgentHoxton Category:'East vs West' themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'Mascots' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2015